"Do I not destroy my enemies when I make them my friends?" - Abraham Lincoln
Friendship in Children: How parenting and family life affect peer relationships
"Among hunter-gatherers, friendship, and the reciprocity that characterizes friendship, is the key to survival. Successful hunters share meat. Friends look after each other's kids. People are keen to give away valuable treasures to cement their friendships and alliances (e.g., Weissner 1982). And the kids? Hunter-gatherers encourage their children to participate in acts of reciprocity from an early age.
Today, many anthropologists suspect that the need to make friends and allies was a driving force in human evolution. Our ancestors beat the odds against disease, famine, and predators by teaming up. Along the way, natural selection favored people who were good at 'reading minds' and forging bonds.
Kids who were better at charming the neighbors got more support--more babysitters, more food providers, more people who were willing to share (Hrdy 2008). Kids who couldn't make friends would have been socially isolated-and in serious trouble. As anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy argues, babies come equipped with social brains because our ancestors needed friends and allies to survive (Hrdy 2009).
So friendship has always been important. But what--besides sharing--does a successful friendship entail?" [read more]
Today, many anthropologists suspect that the need to make friends and allies was a driving force in human evolution. Our ancestors beat the odds against disease, famine, and predators by teaming up. Along the way, natural selection favored people who were good at 'reading minds' and forging bonds.
Kids who were better at charming the neighbors got more support--more babysitters, more food providers, more people who were willing to share (Hrdy 2008). Kids who couldn't make friends would have been socially isolated-and in serious trouble. As anthropologist Sarah Blaffer Hrdy argues, babies come equipped with social brains because our ancestors needed friends and allies to survive (Hrdy 2009).
So friendship has always been important. But what--besides sharing--does a successful friendship entail?" [read more]
Reading Corner
Title: You Are Friendly
By: Todd Snow
Ages: 3+
"Children want to make friends and be friendly. This affirming book lets children know they have real skills and competencies and helps them build important social skills. Sharing, saying 'please' and 'thank you', inviting others to join in and play, treating people and animals kindly, and offering to help are all ways to win friends. You Are Friendly is written in simple words and is vividly illustrated with scenes from daily life. Children are drawn into the colorful pictures that show kids their age at home, at play, at school, and with family members. Like our world, the illustrations are multiethnic. You Are Friendly guides children to create healthy, positive relationships with others and invites them to see themselves and say 'I can do that!'" -- Amazon Review
By: Todd Snow
Ages: 3+
"Children want to make friends and be friendly. This affirming book lets children know they have real skills and competencies and helps them build important social skills. Sharing, saying 'please' and 'thank you', inviting others to join in and play, treating people and animals kindly, and offering to help are all ways to win friends. You Are Friendly is written in simple words and is vividly illustrated with scenes from daily life. Children are drawn into the colorful pictures that show kids their age at home, at play, at school, and with family members. Like our world, the illustrations are multiethnic. You Are Friendly guides children to create healthy, positive relationships with others and invites them to see themselves and say 'I can do that!'" -- Amazon Review
Recommended by Cubs Editors
Be the Change
This helpful guide spans toddlerhood through adolescence and addresses how parents can support their children in making and sustaining friendships.
