"When a father, absent during the day, returns home at six, his children receive only his temperament, not his teaching." -- Robert Bly
Parenting Styles: Is Your Child's Temperament A Good Fit With Yours?
"It's a concept that parents may not be familiar with, but experts say it can explain a lot about family conflicts: Is your child's temperament a good 'fit' with yours?
For example, a stubborn child who's a chip off the old block might have a lot of showdowns with an equally stubborn mom or dad. But contrasting temperaments don't necessarily assure good results: A determined child might overwhelm an overly flexible parent.
Many personality traits like these are inborn, but 'temperaments can also be colored by the environment in which children are raised,' said child psychologist Brian Daly, who teaches at Drexel University in Philadelphia.
That means parents who take a step back to consider their child's personality traits may be able to tailor their childrearing style to deal more effectively with problems."
[read more]
For example, a stubborn child who's a chip off the old block might have a lot of showdowns with an equally stubborn mom or dad. But contrasting temperaments don't necessarily assure good results: A determined child might overwhelm an overly flexible parent.
Many personality traits like these are inborn, but 'temperaments can also be colored by the environment in which children are raised,' said child psychologist Brian Daly, who teaches at Drexel University in Philadelphia.
That means parents who take a step back to consider their child's personality traits may be able to tailor their childrearing style to deal more effectively with problems."
[read more]
Reading Corner
Title: Raising Your Spirited Child: A Guide for Parents Whose Child is More Intense, Sensitive, Perceptive, Persistent, and Energetic
By: Mary Sheedy Kurcinka Stages: Any
"The spirited child--often called "difficult" or 'strong-willed'--possesses traits we value in adults yet find challenging in children. Research shows that spirited kids are wired to be "more"-- by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. In this revised edition of the award-winning classic, voted one of the top twenty books for parents, Kurcinka provides vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint.
Raising Your Spirited Child will help you:
Understand your child's--and your own--temperamental traits; Discover the power of positive--rather than negative--labels; Cope with the tantrums and power struggles when they do occur; Plan for success with a simple four-step program; Develop strategies for handling mealtimes, sibling rivalry, bedtimes, holidays, and school, among other situations."
-- Goodreads Reviews
By: Mary Sheedy Kurcinka Stages: Any
"The spirited child--often called "difficult" or 'strong-willed'--possesses traits we value in adults yet find challenging in children. Research shows that spirited kids are wired to be "more"-- by temperament, they are more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, and uncomfortable with change than the average child. In this revised edition of the award-winning classic, voted one of the top twenty books for parents, Kurcinka provides vivid examples and a refreshingly positive viewpoint.
Raising Your Spirited Child will help you:
Understand your child's--and your own--temperamental traits; Discover the power of positive--rather than negative--labels; Cope with the tantrums and power struggles when they do occur; Plan for success with a simple four-step program; Develop strategies for handling mealtimes, sibling rivalry, bedtimes, holidays, and school, among other situations."
-- Goodreads Reviews
Recommended by Cubs Editors
Be the Change
Here's a quick check list of the basic temperament traits that make up all of us. Read through and see where you recognize yourself, your child(ren) and others in your household and environment. Are you and your child a good "fit"? Which of the traits do you think might be a source of any conflicts?
