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Quote of the Week
"Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." -- Aristotle
5 Things to Know About Raising Introverted Children
"Wouldn't it be nice to directly establish social expectations right from the start of a relationship? 'Hi my name is Kelly, and I'm an introvert.' This would be my introduction of choice, except that it seems as though I'm admitting to some sort of malfunction. Plus it's slightly awkward.
I also have an introverted child, and I'm trying to raise her to know that being reserved is not any kind of malfunction. She should be confident in who she is and not think she has to change in order to fit in to this chatty, busy, extroverted world. The best thing I can do for her is to show her that I understand; I know where she's coming from, and I know what she needs." [more]
Reading Corner
 Title: The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child: Helping Your Child Thrive in an Extroverted World
By: Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D. Stage: Adult
"It's a rare occasion when a person finds a book in which they immediately recognize themselves, let alone find complete validation in their existence. Psychologist Marti Olsen Laney has managed to do both in The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child: Helping Your Child Thrive in an Extroverted World; were it possible, I would inundate every media outlet known to man with testimonials to the importance and quality of this book.
Coming from the position of a lifelong, extremely hermetic, "innie," I found myself moved to tears as Laney presented years of observational research from her own life as an introvert, parent, and therapist – also drawing from the writings from that of Carl Jung to T. Barry Brazelton, with hard, neuro-scientific data that biochemistry is pivotal to human temperament.
Laney has created as step-by-step guide, specifically for parents of introverted children wherein she takes readers by the hand through every conceivable stage of child development, starting with a clear delineation between introversion and the many mental/social anxiety disorders with which innies are misdiagnosed. Dr. Laney moves on to differentiate between the qualities of extroverts/outties (whose neurological paths are shorter and located in the back of the brain) and innies (with neural pathways are located in the brain's "hood").
I should make clear though, Dr. Laney does not denigrate the qualities of extroverts in this book — quite the opposite, as throughout Hidden Gifts the reader is often reminded of balance achieved when a child's attributes are properly nurtured, no matter where they fall on the temperament scale.
As the book continues, the reader is advised on everything from how to ensure their innie child is properly fed and rested, to creating the best environment for stimulating artistic, athletic and academic interests; how to juggle parenting children of different temperaments while maintaining the household's sanity, to the importance of extended family relations.
The most important section comes at the end: helping the introverted child navigate the uncharted waters outside the parentally controlled environment. So many times while reading Part IV, I found myself saying to empty rooms: "Where was this book when I was a kid?"
Is there anything more difficult for an introvert than figuring out how to survive in societies that place a premium on being an extrovert? Certainly, it will never be any easy task, but Dr. Laney gives parents an incredible set of blueprints from which they can advise, beginning with infancy and extending to the college years. What kind of baby-sitter/care giver is best suited to an extroverted/introverted child's temperament? How do parents work with educators to support their efforts and at the same time, serve as advocates for their children? Is there any way to keep your innie from becoming the target of a playground bully? All of this and more is covered in the book's final section.
Along with examples from her own life and practice, Dr. Laney details scenarios — almost like workbook exercises — to reenact with their children, provides a list of "Syndromes and Disorders that Are Sometimes Confused with Introversion," and a selected reading list should anyone be interested in further study.
Even if you're not a parent, The Hidden Gifts of the Introverted Child is an invaluable resource for any innie wishing to understand themselves, perhaps heal wounds rooted in thoughts that there is/was something "wrong" with them, or an outtie interested to know why they feel invigorated after a night out clubbing, while a quiet, contemplative friend needs a week to recover. Whatever the motivation for reading, Marti Olsen Laney has given the world an engaging, fabulously informative treasure that won't be leaving my bookshelf any time soon." -- blogcritics reviewer
Recommended by Cubs Editors
Be The Change
Lawyer turned best-selling author Susan Cain wrote Quiet: The Power of Interverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, an absorbing look at the world of the introvert, as penned by one of their own.
Cain's TED Talk has been viewed more than 7.5 million times. Listen especially to her "calls for action" to all of us (it's at the end of her talk) and see if you can observe one or more in your own life, whether you're an introvert, or you just love one.
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