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Quote of the Week
"Your presence is the most precious gift you can give another human being". --Marshall Rosenberg
Bringing Presence Back To Parenting
So many parents [...] lack the ability to sit back and observe their children, to notice their behavior, and, in a purely adoring way, take it all in. But truly being seen by another person, in this loving way, has such a profound impact on a child. My grandmother had the uncanny ability to perceive the subtlest of details, from the ripeness of the cantaloupe she just bought to the glint of my husband’s eye as he stole a sideways look at me. To spend time with her was to feel known, and this brought comfort. [...]
Today’s parents often live anywhere but in the present. [...]. Rather than delighting in a child’s mischief, we worry about what it might mean for their future. This anxiety drives frantic parenting, rooted in the belief that only constant control can keep children safe. Fueled by media, schools, devices, peers, and even psychologists, anxiety quietly steals parents’ ability to simply be with their child. [...] To learn more about giving your children your full presence and attention, read more in this week's featured article from Psychology Today magazine.
Reading Corner
 Title: The Power Of Showing Up--How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become And How Their Brains Get Wired
By: Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
Ages: Adult
"[...] In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as bestselling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S’s:
• Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.
• Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions—both positive and negative—and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior.
• Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.
• Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up—when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!
Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, illustrations, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations—when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this book is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape." --Publishers
Recommended by Kindful Kids Editors
Be The Change
Follow any of the 3 practical suggestions here on how to be more mindfully present with your kids and see what changes you notice in your interactions.
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