Last Thursday, we had the privilege of hosting a unique conversation with Parker Palmer, Mary Pipher and Michael Penn.

The two hours flew by. A symphony of wisdom, humanity, grace, and humility that sung us in touch with energized fields of possibility, individual and collective.

A detailed transcript will soon follow, but in the meantime here are an assortment of gems gleaned from the treasure trove of our time together.

On the Current World Situation:
Apocalypse at its root means ‘to uncover’, ‘to reveal.’ And a lot of things are being revealed now. We all have the opportunity to do something that will help tip the balance as the revelations pour in from this pandemic. To tip it towards life-giving rather than death.

If we can name our situation clearly we can then lean into a variety of answers or at least partial remedies to that problem.

A little story from medical school – it’s about this heart surgeon teaching her students a critical moment in heart surgery. And she tells them, “At this juncture you have 60 seconds to tie that artery before the patient dies-- so you must take your time.” I think the role of circles of trust in a time of panic is giving people the opportunity to learn what it means to take your time when it feels like there are only 60 seconds to get the job done. -- Parker Palmer

As we experience hard times and the world grows to big for us, we have to grow bigger -- or we grow bitter. That growth is a way to keep us hopeful and optimistic. We need an expanded point of view, the ability to understand the world from more and more points of view.

Emergencies require emergent solutions.

We have the possibility right now of forming by our words and our writing a kind of transcendent narrative that could lead us into a better future. The story we tell about a possible future could affect the future. I think we do have a lot of power at this moment to tell stories about a world that’s more interconnected, less selfish, more generous, and more localized. -- Mary Pipher

We are living in a time in the collective life of humanity where a consciousness of oneness and interdependence of all human kind is beginning to dawn.

The world is in a state of pregnancy – trying to give birth to something that can hold us all with our dignity with our humanity firmly intact. -- Michael Penn

On the Personal Front:

I am re-learning to ask what a lot of patients with serious diagnoses have learned to ask—instead of “Why me?” the question -- "Why not me?"

I am started thinking in a deeper and more compelling way about all the people in the world who live in non-stop, high-risk categories-- not because of a virus but because they live in pandemics of racism, sexism, homophobia, armed conflict. -- Parker Palmer

Thich Nhat Hanh talked about the boat people. When Vietnamese refugees were out on the sea and waves rocked the boat, people would frantically run from side to side to try and balance the boat. If there was just one calm person in the boat who told people to sit down – people listened and the boat wouldn’t sink.

When elephants are in trouble, they look to old elephants to see what to do. One of the duties I have assigned myself through this crisis is to try and be a calm person and a nurturing listener to whoever wants to speak to me about how they are doing. -- Mary Pipher

My mother was an extraordinarily luminous soul. Her presence close to mine was a manifestation of the nearness of God in my difficulty. – Michael Penn


Where Does Our Agency Lie?

[In holding circles of trust] The purpose of these circles is to create safe space for the soul to speak its truth. The fundamental ground rules are, no fixing, no advising, no saving, no correcting, because those things drive people back into hiding.

Joel Elkes, a Holocaust survivor and extraordinary doctor said to us once, “Friends if I may, I have just one word to add. Once again a great darkness has descended on the world, so we must remember how to become gardeners in the dark.” Joel gardened in the dark for a very long time -- planting seeds of kindness, goodwill and hope. And now so must we. – Parker Palmer

For me gratitude is a survival skill, and also tuning in to beauty.

The old pleasures of talking, resting, thinking, reading, outdoors are the pleasures that are holding our lives in place. I think that if your lights are own – my Aunt Margaret used the phrase “phrase green on top.” If you’re green on top, you can’t help but be deeply curious and eager to learn. That can be a redemptive process. – Mary Pipher

I believe the things that we find beautiful in one are the attributes of God. We can manifest these attributes in our ways of speaking, in our simple courtesies. When you are in a small space with a few people and your range of movement is limited, the qualities that you manifest in that space saturate the space and make the space very powerful. You can make the space powerfully beautiful--or ugly.

Reading poetry, singing songs these kinds of things should interrupt the day periodically. – Michael Penn

On Courage & Vulnerability
The way we understand courage in this world is putting on armor --and that shuts down everything, but if we understand vulnerability as a way to be courageous on the face of the earth—a way to say, “I’m willing to receive the human experience and to grow from it.” That’s real courage.

We have two fundamental needs: the need to be at home in our own skin and at home on the face of the earth. And without courage and vulnerability I don’t know how you can do either.

Your heart can break open into capacity and largeness instead of breaking apart or into shards. The heart has both ways, and if you keep it supple it will open into capacities. – Parker Palmer

We live in such a both/and world and beauty and joy and sorrow are as mixed up as salt and seawater. I live in both the awareness of suffering of COVID, possible tragedy and the beginning of spring. The essence of being a whole person is being able to have a library of emotions in one’s heart, and not try to micromanage those emotions. --- Mary Pipher

I was the only non-white person in my boarding school. I was profoundly ashamed of everything about me. So I made up stories about who I was, and I got lost in these stories, for years. Then I had an encounter with death, and in that encounter I realized if I died now, I wouldn’t have realized my reality at all. I would have lived a complete farce. As I was dying, I said, “No—I’m not ready. I need another chance.” And suddenly I found myself back.

As I rediscovered something of my voice, I found that I was born into a different kind of consciousness – it was as though I had been asleep. And gradually I began to awake, and I could smell things and I could cry and I could laugh. All those emotions I had lost in this pretense started to return to me and I became a living soul. – Michael Penn

On Facing Our Mortality

What I know is that I carry no bad memories from the place I came from. Suddenly I was here...it took me a while to realize it, but I have no bad memories from the mystery out of which I emerged. So on that level I have no reason to fear the mystery to which I return and that is a comforting thought. – Parker Palmer

I’m thinking of writing a book of essays under the title Impermanence. I think the key to happiness is accepting impermanence. – Mary Pipher

How Does Cultural Change Happen?

Any culture consists of subcultures and each of us occupies one of those sub cultures and we have a chance to change that subculture in a way that contributes to the beautiful vision [of the whole].

Liberations movements have interested me a lot. What strikes me these movements is they were animated by the inner life. The people who sparked those movements had all power taken away from them, except the power of consciousness, except the power of the human heart. By showing up with that, connecting with each other through that, and deploying it in strategic ways they created change that reached people who weren’t part of their subculture.- Parker Palmer

The powerful get to say what the culture is. But underneath, say, the President of the United States saying what America is, there are all kinds of other cultures and voices who don’t have a giant megaphone.

Cultural change comes from small groups – it’s the miracle grow for social change. There are millions of small groups all over the world working for different causes. If these groups were as visible as say, the Republican and Democratic parties and the presidents of the world they would look enormous. It’s simply that most of the really interesting social change is below the surface of media attention so we aren’t conscious of it.

Consciousness can change very quickly in light of good ideas, and as more and more people catch on to the ideas of moral imagination, interbeing, well-being, etc, the culture could actually change quite quickly all over the world. –Mary Pipher

“Let there be no mistake. The principle of the Oneness of humankind—is no mere outburst of ignorant emotionalism or an expression of vague and pious hope. Its appeal is not to be merely identified with a reawakening of the spirit of brotherhood and goodwill among men, nor does it aim solely at the fostering of harmonious cooperation among individual peoples and nations. Its implications are deeper, its claims greater than any which the Prophets of old were allowed to advance […]” From the Principle of Oneness
– quoted by Michael Penn

Guidance for Parents and Educators

Let them [parents and educators] know that struggle and failure in education is the way we learn, not only when we’re in school but in life. It’s very important to share that and affirm our kids. In this age of high testing there are millions of kids in this country who are dying to be treasured not measured. – Parker Palmer

Some of the hardest hit people are the parents who are trying to work from home with young children. It’s a great job for uncles/aunts/grandparents to offer to zoom and help in any way they can. – Mary Pipher

One thing I would say to parents and siblings there are so many ways that we can nourish the life and hopefulness of others. Anytime we are sincerely embodying love for another and are expressing this in our way it nourishes them.

One of the greatest educators of our times, Paulo Freire said, one of the great challenges is for all of us to be servants of the needs of the age in which we live. And one of the questions associated with that is what kinds of qualities are necessary in the world and how can I as an educator develop those qualities to help the world achieve a greater destiny than the present one. What is the spirit and longing of the age and how can I encourage [their fulfillment], first by manifesting it in myself, and then calling it forth in my students? One of these qualities is that of humility. It opens a space for others to enter and participate. – Michael Penn

The Role of Contemplation

Contemplation is not one size fits all. Some years ago I found out that some of the most popular modes of contemplation weren’t working for me, so I set about reframing the word itself – contemplation is any way a person has of penetrating illusion and touching reality. So the tool that I can offer –is reframing, and then finding what kind of contemplative are you. We need a great big dose of reality, which yes includes terror but it also includes joy and giftedness and love and creativity. -- Parker Palmer

In Taoism it is said that the human person is that place where Heaven and Earth can meet. So when we are in states of prayer and meditation the human spirit is nourished. If we want to nourish others it’s very important that we begin the day by nourishing ourselves.

I’ve been thinking lately that it is miraculous that I have become a professor and a clinic psychologist. How did this happen? It was as though some mysterious power nourished me and brought me to a place where I could be of service to someone, sometime. And I have been thinking about how to be more connected to that mysterious power so that I can serve it with higher degrees of fidelity.

I think of contemplation as a process of tuning oneself, to that which is good, true, and beautiful. And by tuning oneself, being able to express it in some small way. – Michael Penn

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Our moderator Preeta Bansal, who along with other invisible hands made this call possible -- captured the essence of our time together beautifully in her closing reflections.

"I'm thinking of Parker’s book, “Let your Life Speak” in which he says, 'The life that I am living is not the same as the life that wants to live in me. In those moments I sometimes get a glimpse of my true life, like the river hidden beneath the ice.'

This call invited us into the opportunity we all have now-- to really use this time to see what we are outwardly projecting, what wants to be born in us, are we ready to go if this is our time to go? And what is the river under the ice? There are so many questions I am able to hold better because of your wisdom."

May we each continue to live into those questions each day, and to find that intersection that Frederick Buechner indicated, "where our deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet." May we practice being gardeners in the dark.



Wishing you each well in all ways.