Building Bridges: One-Day Retreat In London
ServiceSpace
--Trishna Shah
8 minute read
Jun 26, 2019

 

Nipun and Jin-Wei's latest visit to London last week offered us yet another wonderful opportunity to come together for a One-Day Retreat, where we collectively explored the theme Building Bridges in Times of Disconnection. Around 55 changemakers came together at our home in Pimlico from places near and far including Paris, Vienna, Australia, India, Brighton, Hertfordshire, Chippenham and all over London, to plant seeds of goodness in our hearts and co-create a more kind, compassionate and generous world by being the change we wish to see. This was the first of several gatherings planned for Nipun and Jin-Wei's visit and seeded many beautiful ripples over the course of the day.



"Understanding is the bridge between two minds; love is the bridge between two souls." -- Matshona Dhliwayo

Building Bridges with Love

Jane and Kelly welcomed everyone into the space with their warm hugs and heart garlands as we circled up for 30 minutes of collective silence to plant seeds of stillness in our minds and hearts to begin our day together. In the opening circle, we reflected on the theme, Building Bridges in Times of Disconnection, and how when we build bridges between our minds it leads to understanding, but bridges between our hearts are built with unconditional love. Jin Wei shared insights from Buddhism and the principle of non-duality, to remind us that ultimately we are all interconnected and any thoughts of "the other" are creations of the mind. As the mic traveled around the room, we all tuned into each others' personal stories and experiences of building bridges with ourselves, loved ones, colleagues and the unknown and even burning bridges in some cases, which offered much inspiration and insight, contributing to the richness of the circle.



Below are a few nuggets of inspiration on bridge building that emerged...

  • "When I came up to the door I was so scared walking in here, as soon as I came in I felt like I was lying in a comfortable blanket, the warmth and the humanity is a beautiful thing." -- Stephen
  • "To express my truth, I need to plant my roots solidly in the ground so that I am ready to receive what the other person expresses when they share their truth." -- Kasia
  • "The bridge is already there, I just have to step out." :) -- Ragav
  • "The first bridge I have to build is with myself. [...] It is easy to build bridges as we all have something in common." -- Oliver
  • "I have an ethos of 'becoming the one' for myself. I want to become the one that I need, to be my best friend, the mother, the father." -- Jasmine
  • "To build bridges with other people is to connect, for us to connect is allowing ourselves to be vulnerable." -- Monika
  • "I'm a big introvert, and I feel very nervous when I speak in front of people. But listening to all of you, I am losing myself with your stories and you are making me feel more comfortable, so thank you." -- Jasky
  • "I've been trying for a long time to build a bridge with the unknown. [...] You want the known, you want the fixed, you want the permanent, and its very hard to embrace the impermanence, the flow. The change that's happening is inevitable." -- Nipun
  • "In order to rebuild a broken bridge, you have to be the change you want." -- Jeremy
  • "Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection. The important thing about bridges isn't if someone meets you on the other side, it's about building. I can build a bridge and extend it towards you. You may not come to me on the other side, but I made that effort and it emboldens me because there's something for me to learn." -- Keshav
  • "The more I believe in oneness, the more I've learned there are no bridges to build." -- Debbie
  • "In a world that is shadowy, the most important thing we can do is to allow our souls to burn brightly, so that we can be a guide to other souls who might not feel confident enough to burn as brightly yet. In my own life, I think I've been waiting for other souls to shine their light, but I'm learning that it's about finding the courage to burn my own light brightly." -- Izzie
  • "I am the bridge, I don't need to find something that links the two because I am both." -- Asha
  • "I am naturally honest and it suppresses my soul if I can't speak what's going on in my heart. [...] Burning bridges comes easily to me and in the last few years I have been practicing nonviolence and have been focusing on repairing bridges." -- Cleona
  • "When you try to be perfect, you think about how you look but you're not thinking about how other people feel. By being your authentic, messy self, you build a lot more bridges and people feel more connected to you." -- Roshan
  • "I try to build bridges everyday with my children. In a world with so much technology, I feel they can be disconnected from people so I try to build bridges with them so they learn to build bridges with people and not objects. [...] Rev Heng Sure says we are all connected so we should treat each other with kindness." -- Kelly
  • "Everyday in our lives we build emotional and physical barriers around ourselves that prevent us from truly connecting with other people. We have these moments everyday where we can build bridges." -- Morgan
  • "The mind is like velcro to the negative and teflon to the positive." -- Caitriona
  • "When you enter into the space of grace that opens up where a bridge might be built and you can feel the horse's emotions and they can feel yours, there is this place of profound understanding and generosity that emerges on both sides. That seems to be the essence of bridge building, that profound generosity that comes from both sides." -- Jane
The lunch which followed our opening circle was also a beautifully co-created offering of delicious foods, courtesy of many generous hands and hearts who felt called to cook with love. :)



Compassion and Connection


As we circled up again after lunch, Stephen sang us a beautiful, heart-felt song reminding us to "grow as one by knocking down walls to build our home, where its safe within these arms." Nipun offered food for thought about how we can create a bigger "We" -- how do we create a sense of connection within ourselves and how do we create systems that enable that connection to build bridges. We watched a video about the living bridges that are made over 500 years in the natural world and are so resilient and of service organically because they are built over such a long period of time, they are perfect examples of slow stories.

We also held the question, "What are we trying to build a bridge to?" Nipun invited us to think deeply about how we can shift from Me - to We - to Us, where we are living in an inclusive society of many-to-many relationships. Where is the other? The world's thought-leader on building bridges, John Powell, goes into places of deep polarisation and comes out with meaningful results in bringing people together. Maki's journey of maintaining a daily practice of prayer rippled into the lives of her children to help them build bridges with each other -- when they would fight, burn a bridge with each other, they were invited to sit and write down 10 things that each of them could have done differently in that situation. Maki then reads both papers and needs to say little to help her daughters reconcile their differences.

As we connect at a collective level, there is a synergy where 1+1 is greater than 2. Emergence is about being open to the unknown possibilities without us directing anything, we trust in the flow because of the underlying principles that connect us. But can we wait long enough and be patient enough to trust in the flow? Who do we have to be in this kind of a world to have the awareness to tune into the moment? We have to let go of our specialness to tune into the specialness of other people, which is necessary to build a bigger We.



Circles of Reflection & Writing to "The Other"

As we broke into smaller circles we held three questions and shared our reflections, much like small Awakin Circles. It was a beautiful opportunity to learn from and be inspired by each others' journeys and life experiences.
  • What helps you to go from Me to We?
  • What are the conditions that help you to build bridges?
  • What bridge building example moves you the most?



Following our small circles, Mita invited us all to plant our feet into the grass outside and embrace the moment through mindful movements to unlock our energy points. The clear favourite was the final exercise where we all circled up to pay forward shoulder massages in a chain of giving :)

As we walked back into the house in silence and regrouped, Ewa invited us to tune into who "the other" may be in our lives at this time, whether it's a part of ourselves or someone we know or even an idea. We then entered into collective silence with papers and pen to hand and wrote a letter to "the other" as an invitation to build a bridge. This provided a meaningful opportunity for each of us to explore that part of our hearts, which we may often even try to avoid as it feels uncomfortable, and sit with the other eye-to-eye and heart-to-heart. What do we want to say to the other or ask of the other and who do we have to be to do this in a wholesome way, which creates conditions for bridge building?



Like many ServiceSpace gatherings in the past, we concluded with a heart-felt rendition of the Dedication of Merit sung by Jin-Wei, who offered us the opportunity to share the goodness which was co-created at the retreat out into the world wherever we feel moved to send it to. And of course Nimo's "Grateful" brought everyone together in a final group-hug to close the day :)

It had been nearly a year since our last one-day retreat in the London community and we were so grateful to have Nipun and Jin-Wei's trip serve as the catalyst for coming together in this way and inspiring us all to dig deeper into our own hearts so that we can shift from building bridges of understanding between minds to building bridges of love between hearts.

Enjoy this album of photos from the day, put together with many hands and hearts! :)



** You may also enjoy reading Oliver's reflections on the first ServiceSpace retreat he attended. He and friends from Paris were so inspired by their weekend of gatherings that only weeks later they hosted their own Building Bridges One-Day Retreat in their local community in France to pay forward their love!
 

Posted by Trishna Shah on Jun 26, 2019