Reflections & First Awakin In Philadelphia 'Burbs!
ServiceSpace
--Rina Patel
3 minute read
Jun 8, 2016

 

“What is necessary, after all, is only this: solitude, vast inner solitude. To walk inside yourself and meet no one for hours…”- Rainer Maria Rilkes, Letters to a Young Poet

Late last year in December 2015, I had the blessed opportunity to attend Awakin for the first time. It was during those beautiful winter months late last year that I attended Awakin each week and served with Manav Sadhna in Ahmedabad. Like others who have passed through that space, I felt a deep transformation taking place from within. Those months and the months leading up to it felt to me like the epitome of pure human existence.

There was a point in the past years where I felt confused by the dichotomy of life, startled by everything that was going on around the world, and the peace I was struggling to find around me (I soon realized it was actually the peace that was absent from within). At times, I would feel pessimistic and lose hope for humanity. I had lost hope that we could get out of this dark hole we were in, this dark hole that I didn’t realize I was living in.

The universe has a funny way of bringing things when you most need them, but least expect it. People, things, circumstances- whatever it may be (Cough cough all you beautiful souls!!! Cough cough). It was that, the combination of circumstances, people, things which caught me, held a grip so tight around me and made me realize that I am not dying tomorrow and what if I am?

 What have I been running to? What am I running from?

‘Nothing’ quietly said a voice inside of me. I think it is the vast sense of ourselves and the depths of who we are, the experiences we have accumulated, and the dreams that we feel so inspired to reach that somewhere along the way we think we have forgotten. In reality, it is actually the place where we often find ourselves.

When I started going to Awakin, I was rediscovering this state of constant vulnerability and trust. It wasn’t something I thought we could actually live in each moment of each day. But here I was living it. Living all parts of my heart and my self in all of its vulnerability.

It was almost as if each passage was aligned to something that was happening within me. Through those months, I felt the urge to bring it back to my hometown close to Philadelphia.

One Wednesday evening two weeks ago, a group of 13 of us gathered around a circle for the first Awakin Circle in the Philadelphia suburbs. For a moment, after the second bell rang, I thought I was back in Meghna didi’s (thank you, Meghna didi!!) apartment in Ahmedabad. As we each opened our eyes and looked at one another with soft smiles, we each could feel something lingering in the air. It was an indescribable, beautiful feeling and presence.
Tonight we had our second Awakin Circle and again it didn’t seem like there was a dry eye in the room. We were all touched and in a way, transformed by simply being in the presence of each other. To be a witness of such magic…well…it feels like a blessing.

And we when feel, we all feel this in some way. This beautiful willingness to live to our utmost potential during times of sadness. During times we feel like we can’t climb our way out of the hole, but do it anyway. Because it isn’t the times of happiness where we find our true calling. Sometimes it is the times of confusion and helplessness where we kick ourselves into gear. We want something more, we all want something more. We want to feel happy, not by external circumstances, but by a happiness that drives and fuels us from within. We realize, sometimes after years of searching, that it wasn’t the externalities that shaped us to get going. It was the internal determination to plow a path and a certain faith that enabled us to trust ourselves as we danced our way through life.

I think there was a lot of that flowing in the room these past few weeks. It was beautiful :) 
    

 

Posted by Rina Patel on Jun 8, 2016


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