For the last 3 years I've been attending the local
Awakin Circle. I can't tell how profound it has been for me. I had never meditated in my life before Awakin Circle, and I wouldn't even call myself as spiritual. But now, everything is different. I'm just deeply, deeply grateful for the circles, for the loving energy that seems to be created effortlessly each and every week, and for everyone to unconditionally hold space for people like me to 'wake up' and flourish.
Although it's taken me a while to figure out some things, the anchoring affect of meditation is undeniable and the ongoing internal growth as a result has propelled me to let go of many attachments.
On Monday, feel particularly inspired, I decided to do someone I've never done before -- host a circle on my own! My husband and kids were out, I got my parents to take care of my dog, and got to work! I talked to Dustin and he was a huge anchor, and then invited a few friends for an evening of silence, reflections and dinner.
Though I was really excited, initially, a kind of anxiety rushed over me. What if this doesn't work out, or that falls through, and so on. I would watch these thoughts as they come and go.
I didn't have meditation cushions, so I decided to step up my labor-of-love and make them (yes, I hand-made all those cushions in 24 hours!). I would sit on it in silence for a while, feel a sense of gratitude and amazingly my anxiousness would slowly fade away.
Just like that, bit by bit, I spend the whole day feeling into my heart of service. Maybe even expanding that heart.
Evening came and everyone showed up. We meditated, shared a reading and then circle of reflections. Dustin openly shared his journey with his mom, and I could totally relate; it hleped me to see my own inner journey through the relationship with my mother and husband. Then, Sid, offered reflections on not reacting to external circumstances; Casey's revelations spoke to cutting through deeper layers of fears and obstructions in our sub-conscious mind; Susan's humorous and wise share about her husband was something I could very much relate to. Mr. Wada spoke about his four and a half years of not speaking to his daughter. By the end, what became clear was that when we give light to others, we all get brightened more.
It was a small circle, but very rich and enlightening. The positive energy was palpable. The spirit of what started in Aunty Harshida and Uncle Dinesh's living room 20 years ago is what gifted this heartfelt space for us 6 attendees. And just within the last 48 hours, I gained an enormous sense of appreciation of what work is put into such gatherings ... it almost doubles my gratitude, if that's possible. :)
Holding a heart of service is such a great joy. I feel like the seed was planted a while back and I’m just now plucking a ripened fruit to share it with others. All of the entire ServiceSpace family's service continues to amaze and inspire me. Thank you for holding that light!