Inner Transformation Ripples
Posted by Eva Sivill on Jan 21, 2017
It was really hard for me to witness and feeling pushed to contribute in this education that had nothing to do with the love for learning. I tried to create a pleasant environment for my students so they could thrive according to their pace and interests but the principal and the tests’ pressures together with the whole schedule was very disruptive. I decided I wanted to find another way where I could contribute in facilitating learning for children of different backgrounds and where I didn’t have to sacrifice my values.
My first year teaching in Oakland, I had gone to meditate at a community close to the school but I didn’t go back until a year and a half ago when I really felt the need to reconnect with myself again.
I felt I needed to do some kind of purging so I went back to that meditation place near the school which is the community where I live now, Casa de Paz. After 3 months of sitting every Friday, I decided to do a 10 day silent meditation retreat. Then, I started to walk on my spiritual path with more awareness. All those values that had felt threatened at the school, now became very clear and unwavering in my body. I saw my purpose, I got my strength back and I started to serve people in our neighbourhood by developing trustworthy relationships to support the neighbours wherever they were at. I felt called to be in service for oppressed communities after my experience at the school. I started to live a more simple life, to grow in generosity by volunteering my time at a Forest School. This kind of learning facilitates Nature connection and physical and emotional development for children in early childhood. And I wanted to make this kind of alternative education be accessible for communities with less financial resources.
My family is still in Vilafranca, and they are wondering when I will go back. However, my mom has started to share how her life feels more relaxed and how she has been feeling more giving after listening and being very supportive along my journey. A few weeks ago she told me that she had gifted a spare TV to a new family in her neighbourhood. It’s a family that just arrived from the part of the world we call Morocco. They have a young child and they wanted a TV for him to learn Spanish and Catalan. My mom, her husband and other people from the town helped them to find a house and some furniture. She loves them so much now that she even cooks for them and brings them food some days a week.
At the same time, my dad recently shared with me that he is feeling happier. He has frequently felt that life had been unfair and challenging. Lately, I have been trying to listen to him and do not engage in conversations that I know that can bring more frustration for him. He shared that he has been feeling more positive and he has been using more affectionate words which he rarely used before to communicate with me.
I feel honored to have such supportive and receptive family. I have noticed that since I started to cultivate my inner garden by meditating, serving and being connected and aligned with my values, I have seen how the subtle ripples of my inner transformation have influenced them, and have transformed their lives too. I feel grateful that I can connect with my family at this level no matter how far away I am.