Choosing Suffering Over Safety - Reflections From

Posted by Khushmita Sanghvi on Aug 20, 2015
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Last evening at our Awakin circle in pune, I felt an expansiveness and a unique energy filling the room.Choosing suffering over safety, the passage last evening was so profound and so deep that we somehow landed up having 2 rounds of sharing as a lot was emerging just after the first round for many people. As people were connecting with their grief and moments of transformation through suffering, I felt a healing take place. Almost like one was taking a deep, slow breath, tasting the fullness of life for the very first time. Connecting within, acknowledging the pain and letting it go..into the safety and warmth of the circle as each was held in an unconditional embrace of love..

Amongst the many reflections, Vaibhavi shared how her younger sister's twin children Krishna and Gauri, 3.5 year olds now, were diagnosed as deaf almost 2 years ago.

Her sister and her husband were settled in The U.S and suddenly this news came as a shock followed by deep compassion and immense internal strength was awakened as they decided to support their kids unconditionally even if it meant making sacrifices for themselves. They checked options and found only 2 - operate the kids ( which was a risk for the children as there was no guarantee of results and the further risk of complications that could arise through this ) The second option was the one which would test their resilience and patience...a speech therapist who would train and teach the children to speak and understand, to go beyond their disability. Should they choose safety or suffering?

They moved to India and the husband took up a job in hyderabad. Since he was the only earning member it was important for him to retain his role as the provider for the family. As they searched for good speech therapists, they found out the best one was in the city of pune. His company however had offices in only 4 major cities of India and a transfer was only possible to the nearest city of Mumbai which is 3 hours away from Pune.Again, a deep question arose? should we just let the kids grow up in hyderabad? get them operated? choose safety over suffering?

They chose suffering. They moved to pune. He commutes to mumbai from pune to work. His wife takes the kids to the speech therapist and has devoted her life to the kids developing their other senses so they may grow up as wholesome beings capable of independant living. Choosing to accept the situation fully and embracing everything that comes along with it was a choice they made.

Many other insightful reflections took place as Vinaya spoke deeply of her own pain, including situations of physical assault and ruthless humiliation she went through and how until she didn't fully embrace it, she did not heal and recover from it. She took the pain of diving deep into that suffering and only surface until she had looked it in the eye and let it go. Today she is a healer and helps many deal with suffering as a friend rather than a foe.

Atul shared the importance of impermanance and how it is the guiding principle in all aspects of our life while Anand shared how his gardener was one day looking at the dried, fallen leaves on the ground of the compound he sweeps everyday and how they engaged in a conversation of how everything in nature changes,as they looked on at the leaves. Vidhi shared how important it is to look at suffering as something which teaches us more while Pankaj shared how after suffering comes joy.

As i slept last night, I still carried these stories in my heart and somehow felt that each of us was deeply connected. Each story was within me and a part of me was being healed through them.

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Comments (3)

  • Nipun Mehta wrote ...

    Great to read this, Khushmita! We had a similarly powerful circle in Santa Clara as well. We will relay the comments to Bonnie as well (who most recently was part of our Laddership Circle as well).

  • Bonnie Rose wrote ...

    Dear Khushmita and Nipun, Thank you so much for your kind words. It touches me deeply to know that my story helped others share their own stories of heart and wholeness. Thank you for letting me know - Warmly, Bonnie

  • khushmita sanghvi wrote ...

    Thank you Dear Bonnie for giving us this wonderful opportunity to dive deep within ourselves... Gratitude and love :)