The Secret of Raising a Resilient Child

September 03, 2022

Quote of the Week

"The oak fought the wind and was broken, the willow bent when it must and survived." -- Robert Jordan, The Fires of Heaven

The Secret Of Raising A Resilient Child

"Sometimes life asks us to handle so much challenge, so much change, so much loss, that it leaves us exhausted and ready to crack. (Sound familiar?) But some lucky people are less stressed by stress. Some of us have more ability to maintain our positivity, to regain our equilibrium, to suffer major setbacks and still get up the next morning determined to try again. We call this Resilience.

Where does resilience come from? Certainly, some of it is genetic; hard-wired. And we can all re-train our brains to give us more resilience. But to help your child develop a resilient inner core, start with the parent-child relationship.

As Dr. Edward Hallowell says, "Resilience comes from knowing that you never have to be alone …. If you feel connected, you will always be able to deal with adversity. The skills we need to deal with adversity begin with a feeling of 'I can handle this' It is a feeling of 'No matter what happens, I can find a solution' ; a feeling of 'I have dealt with hard times and come out fine before; a feeling of 'Even when I feel lost, I always have somewhere to turn.'"

There's a common misconception that children develop resilience by failing. Actually, children develop resilience by dealing successfully with failure. When children have the support to get up and try again, they learn they can survive adversity and come out okay. When a child doesn't have that support, all he learns from failing is that he's the kind of person who fails.

So what kind of support can help your child turn set-backs into the confidence that no matter what happens, she can handle it? [Read Article]

Reading Corner

Title: Running on the Roof of the World
By: Jess Butterworth
Ages: 9-12

"There are two words that are banned in Tibet. Two words that can get you locked in prison without a second thought. I watch the soldiers tramping away and call the words after them. 'Dalai Lama.'

Tash has to follow many rules to survive in Tibet, a country occupied by Chinese soldiers. But when a man sets himself on fire in protest and soldiers seize Tash's parents, she and her best friend Sam must break the rules. They are determined to escape Tibet - and seek the help of the Dalai Lama himself in India.

And so, with a backpack of Tash's father's mysterious papers and two trusty yaks by their side, their extraordinary journey across the mountains begins." -- Publisher

Be the Change

"When your child gets into a jam, manage your own anxiety and resist jumping in to rescue. Instead, support him/her to brainstorm possible solutions and their outcomes. "Hmm... yes, you could do that. I wonder what might happen then?"