January 29, 2022

Quote of the Week

"Having compassion for yourself means that you honor and accept your humanness." -- Kristen Neff

Why Parents Need Self-Compassion

“I don’t have any time for self-care. I know I need it, but I feel like I’m a bad mother if I take time for myself,” said Michelle, a participant in my Self-Compassion for Parents workshop. “I simply don’t have time to practice!”

This is a common complaint of the parents I see in my role as a psychologist and self-compassion teacher. The demands of raising kids can keep parents running around, making it hard for them to imagine spending even a few minutes focusing on their own needs.

While taking time out for self-care might feel like a burden—who has time for one more thing you should do?—the research is clear: Self-compassion is good for us, and for our children. It can help reduce our stress levels and bring more joy to parenting, and we can get it in small doses that fit into our insane schedules.

It’s important to note that our state of mind impacts our children, and our kids do better if we practice self-compassion—and don’t blame ourselves when they struggle. In a recent study of over 900 Dutch families, researchers found that parents who reported less self-blame had teens with fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety. Non-judgmental self-compassion may have been a core factor in this dynamic. Since children imitate our example, treating ourselves with compassion and without judgment can help them do the same." [Read Article]

Reading Corner

Title: Self-Compassion for Parents: Nurture Your Child by Caring for Yourself
By: Susan M. Pollak
Stage: For all parents

"I yelled at the kids again--and feel so ashamed." "I barely have time to shower, let alone exercise; no wonder I’m so out of shape." "I'm just not the dad I hoped I would be." Parenting is hard. That's why self-compassion is so important. In this empathic resource, mindfulness expert and psychologist Susan M. Pollak helps you let go of constant self-judgment and treat yourself with the same kindness and caring you strive to offer your kids. Simple yet powerful guided meditation techniques (most under three minutes long) are easy to practice while doing the dishes, driving to work, or soothing a fussy baby. Learn to respond to your own imperfections like a supportive friend, not a harsh critic. You will find yourself happier and more energized--and will discover new reserves of patience and appreciation for your kids." -- Publisher

Be the Change

Find opportunities this week to practice "two breaths of kindness" as Susan Pollak suggests in this week's article. Taking a few mindful breaths throughout our day can impact our well-being in positive ways, and our kids' well-being too!