Listening And Sharing With Kids

June 12, 2021

Quote of the Week

"The most basic of all human needs is the need to understand and be understood. The best way to understand people is to listen to them." --Ralph G. Nichols

How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk!

We've all heard of the book, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk!" This video interview of the authors Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish with Eileen Rose moved me and inspired me in a very practical way to re-navigate the way I, as a parent listened and even shared. These are small moments that may or may not make a big difference in the day to day ways of living and being. But I can already feel the depth and the role these ways of listening and sharing can create a big difference in how our kids may grow up. Here's a little blurb about the interview by the anchor of the show:

"In all my years of interviewing, these two women made the most sense when it comes to dealing with our children. This is only a segment but I encourage you to explore the work of Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, whose best-selling books include How to Talk so Kids Will Listen & Listen so Kids will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry. They have developed "do-it-yourself" group workshop programs which have won the enthusiastic praise of parents and professionals worldwide. The author's practical, down-to-earth methods give adults the know-how they need to create relationships with children of all ages -- from tots to teens -- that are less stressful and far more rewarding. If you read the book, you will learn how to:

-Engage your child's willing cooperation
-Deal with your child's negative feelings - frustration, disappointment, anger
-Express your anger without being hurtful
-Set firm limits and still maintain goodwill
-Use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline
-Encourage positive relationships between your children
-Resolve family conflicts peacefully.

[see video]

Reading Corner

Title: My Body Sends a Signal: Helping Kids Recognize Emotions and Express Feelings

By: Natalia Maguire

Ages: 3-9

"This is an interesting and inviting story for both children and adults. It's very relatable for kids and captures their attention because the story line is something they can connect with and really feel, all while teaching children about emotions and feelings (what are they? Why do they matter? What do we DO with them?). The story walks the reader through many of the basic emotions and shows what it feels like to feel those emotions. I really appreciate that the pictures are simple, but show what the child is going through and physically feeling and thinking, which helps kids understand their own emotions and feelings.

The book starts by explaining to the parent the purpose of the book and defining what emotions and feelings are. Then, there's a fabulous story that illustrates this, followed by short stories at the end for further reading and discussion if desired, which could be done right away or over the course of several days. This is a story you can read over and over again (lots of places for discussion and analyzing while you're reading too!), and one that you can refer to as your child is experiencing strong feelings- "remember when we read...?"

I highly recommend this book for parents of toddlers, preschoolers, and elementary aged children as well as preschool and elementary school teachers. It's a great resource and makes discussing feelings and emotions easier and helps children understand what feelings and emotions are." - Amazon Reviewer

Be the Change

This week, observe how you listen - to your children, to your spouse, parents, colleagues. Observe the patterns that came up for you. If you feel uncomfortable in your reflections and emerging patterns, practice starting afresh as a new day instead of being hard on yourself. What emerged for you as you practiced listening with undivided attention today?