Supporting Kids at School Without Overparenting

September 08, 2018

Quote of the Week

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts." -- Winston Churchill

How To Support Your Kid At School Without Being A Helicopter Parent

"As the school year looms, it’s easy for parents like me to feel a sense of intense pressure. We may worry, sometimes for valid reasons, about our children’s academic progress, independence, and social life. We get caught up in micromanaging and ruminating instead of staying grounded and clear-sighted in our planning. How do we reduce the pressure and still give our children what they need?

A long-term focus on the resilience of our children—their ability to overcome challenges independently—is what can really help them thrive in school. As a developmental pediatrician, I believe it’s the proven basics that matter most for a child’s resilience: their belief in their own self-efficacy, strong self-management skills, and reliable relationships. If we can let go of other pressures created by our busy family life, fads and trends within our communities, and information overload on the Internet, we can confidently focus on the tried-and-true instead. As we start this new school year, here’s what child development research shows builds resilience in our kids." [read more]

Reading Corner

Title: The Gift of Failure: How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go So Their Children Can Succeed
By: Jessica Lahey
Stages: All

Why?  "This book had a profound effect on my thinking about how to be a parent. I don't think of myself as the type who hovers, but I'm starting to understand that I hover more than I realize. This book made me realize it's more important for me to teach my kids life skills like how to manage their time than it is for me to be managing every detail. While this book offers a lot of anecdotes, it's also infused with an excellent grasp of research. Lahey's background in education shines through, and her suggestions are grounded in the same evidence-based research that I've read. If kids seem different today, it's because they are, and it's not just technology that's driving this change, it's the way parents treat their children and how they view them. Reading this book makes the mystifying question of why children don't want to take risks quite clear: because we've taught them that there's nothing worse than failure." -- Amazon Reviewer

Be the Change

As the new school year gets underway, together as a family, reflect on how and when you'd like to set aside family time on a weekly, bi-weekly or monthly basis and commit to spending that time together in ways that nourish your family's roots and wings.