Self Compassion For Parents

June 09, 2018

Quote of the Week

"One must be compassionate to one's self before external compassion." -- Dalai Lama

Self Compassion For Parents

"When was the last time you beat yourself up for a parenting failure?  Perhaps your daughter got a D+ on the math test—and you regret some harsh words. Maybe you’re telling yourself that you bungled advice to your fifth-grader about how to handle an annoying classmate. You couldn’t keep your promise to attend your son’s music recital—and there’s a voice in your head telling you that you’re a terrible parent.

But there’s an alternative to that harsh self-talk: self-compassion. According to researcher Kristin Neff, “self-compassion provides an island of calm, a refuge from the stormy seas of endless positive and negative self-judgment. [...]  Studies suggest self-compassion may be a resource for resiliency and a protective buffer against both internal and external criticism. Can parents learn to be more self-compassionate?" [read more]

Reading Corner

Title: Self-Compassion
By: Dr. Kristin Neff
Stage: Any

Kristin Neff PhD, is a professor in human development whose 10 years' of research forms the basis of her timely and highly readable book. Self Compassion offers a powerful solution for combating the current malaise of depression, anxiety and self criticism that comes with living in a pressured and competitive culture. Self Compassion recognises that we all have weaknesses and limitations, but in accepting this we can discover new ways to achieve improved self confidence, contentment and reach our highest potential. Simply, easily and compassionately.

More and more, psychologists are turning away from an emphasis on self-esteem and moving toward self-compassion in the treatment of their patients— and this book offers exercises and action plans for dealing with every emotionally debilitating struggle, be it parenting, weight loss, or any of the numerous trials of everyday living. - Publishers

Be the Change

We've all experienced moments of self-doubt in our parenting journey. But we've also experienced strength and courage when we've tapped inside the gentle parts of our selves. Based on the article this week, what have you experienced in the moments where you've been compassionate to yourself? How did that ripple into your life? Did anything stand out in the process? If you're moved, do share your story with us!