June 17, 2017

Quote of the Week

"The most precious gift we can offer others is our presence." --Thich Nhat Hanh

Staying Connected To Your Teen

"We need to rethink the old metaphor of separating from our teens and replace it with the concept of extension. That is, during adolescence, teenagers need to extend away from their parents, all the while staying connected to their parents. Their job is to extend; your job is to connect."  --Michael Riera

How do we stay connected to our teens as they are spreading their wings? Research has shown that teens are keen to have parents around at home so that they can anchor themselves.  However, at the same time, teens want their parents to be present without always advancing an agenda, a bit like a "potted plant." (read more). So how can we, as parents, walk this fine line between blending into the background while staying connected to our teenage children?  This article provides practical tips for staying connected to your teen through your mindful presence as they stretch their wings into adulthood.  

Reading Corner

Title: Staying Connected to Your Teenager
Author: Michael Riera
Stages: Pre-teen/Teen

"I have heard Mike Riera speak and was totally inspired by his common sense approach to parenting teenagers. Parents of teens need to learn how to transition from being a "manager" to a "consultant". By providing a steady presence in their teens' lives without dictating every decision, parents have an essential role in guiding their teens to become confident, independent adults. This book provides common sense advice and real life scenarios for all stages of the teen years." -- Brinda Govindan

Be the Change

This week while reconnecting with your teen/tween, make a conscious decision to give them your full presence, listen with empathy and don't offer advice! Welcome their friends, be available (even if you have to stay up late to match their body clock!), and make a "date" to spend time doing something they would like to do with you.