Why Teach Middle-Schoolers Kindness?


March 18, 2017


Quote of the Week

"What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?" --Jean-Jacques Rosseau

Why Parents Need To Teach Middle-Schoolers Kindness, From The Author Of 'Wonder'

When confronted with someone who is different, why does one child reach out in kindness and another turn to bullying? How can we, as parents, encourage our children to treat others, particularly someone being bullied, with kindness? In this interview, author R. J. Palacio shares how she and her sons came upon someone with craniofacial differences and fled rather than take a chance that her son might gawk or ask awkward questions. Her unresolved feelings about that encounter led to her novel, "Wonder", a book she considers a meditation on kindness.

She says, "I didn’t know [kindness] would be an overarching theme. But my older son was going into the sixth grade. I was around middle-schoolers a lot. We spend so much time [when they are little] teaching sandbox rules, we spend a lot of time worrying about these little moral codes. But by the time they get into middle school, we forget to remind them. They need it then more than ever. We spend more time on “Did you do your homework?” So it occurred to me that these kids need to be reminded how to be kind to one another. They need us to inspire them to be kind to one another. There’s so much talk in movies and on TV where meanness passes for normal in middle school, like middle school is just something you need to just get through. I don’t know why we have to accept that cruelty passes as normal. So I wanted a book that reminded people it’s okay to be kind, it’s not a sign of weakness. And it’s not just about not being a bully, it’s about showing empathy and compassion."

Read on for Palacio's profound reflections on kindness and her suggestions for ways we can encourage our children to be more caring.

Reading Corner

Title: Wonder
By: R.J. Palacio
Ages: 8-12

Why: "In a world where bullying among young people is an epidemic, this is a refreshing new narrative full of heart and hope. R.J. Palacio has called her debut novel “a meditation on kindness” —indeed, every reader will come away with a greater appreciation for the simple courage of friendship. Auggie is a hero to root for, a diamond in the rough who proves that you can’t blend in when you were born to stand out." --Publishers

Be the Change

Take time to watch the video included in this week's featured article with your child. What does it mean to be kind? Who needs your show of kindness? Is there a mean person you might be able 'to sprinkle some kindness' on? It may make a profound difference.