Last night,
I sat to paint.
I always paint my dreams
or sketch my dreams.

Why paint dreams?
You may ask.

As I feel,
I am consciously aware of what is real,
and being real, is;
the most beautiful art form,
Hence, there is no creativity for me
to add in.
Being real is having clarity, or I should say being in fullest details,
Reality is a fact,
like the moon that shines, the sun that burns,
there is beauty in earthquakes
(destruction of nature is always beautiful,
what man has built on it, may get destroyed in a way
that man may not prefer to see or wish),
volcanoes being idle, sea waves clashing and forming foams,
No matter what I paint, the real moon, stars and the sun, is in its
highest details, there is nothing more to add it, one can paint them,
but there is no creativity, it is twisting of beauty, I am aware I cannot
do justice to them.

Hence.
I closed my eyes consciously,
Aware of what I want to seek -
within the waves of thoughts, there were residue of my dream,
left lingering in my thoughts.

The more I explored the residue consciously,
my thoughts started to create images in my head.
And when your mind creates images
one seeks meaning for those images.

The image I received was of me sitting with an old man,
it was snowing,
I was warming my hands on his body, just like you warm
with fire.

The image I derived was of me sitting with a super human,
My mind being conditioned, gave it a name and a meaning
"God".

This image was blurred,
like a blurred photograph,
where the essence are there,
but the details were missing.

In that moment.
I felt there is a division between the conscious and the subconscious.

I asked my observer
what is being conscious?

Observer replied -
"The very asking of what is being conscious to me, is in itself, is the state of being conscious."

I asked again
What is subconscious?

Observer: "I am only aware of being conscious,
It is the thought that has this tendency of division,
it creates division as soon as it takes birth,
Division of time - being caught in past and future,
thoughts are always in time travel, psychological
time travel, and what you call or understand as
subconscious is mere creation of thought,
beliefs, ego, traditions all are superficial as they are part
of the consciousness of human race, it is a like
flowing river, it keeps on flowing, you are in that river only
shifting from one bank to another,
you are never fully out of the river.

Hence, what you call subconscious
is actually the consciousness of the humanity from the very beginning to till this very moment."


I opened my eyes,
I wanted to paint now,
I wanted to paint his face and body,
I was lacking details,
but I only had this sensation of feeling warmth,
soothing fire burning in my room,

I looked at the canvas,
raised my hand to stroke a brush,
momentary pause..

A fly flew just in front of my eyes,
And placed itself on my nose,
The fly being so close to me,
i can see prismic reflections from its wings.
The fly was in full details,
but its placement on my nose and the perspective
of my vision, made it blurred.
I felt its sensation on my skin, body, and mind...

I left the canvas blank, as it is.


"Everything that is alive, is holy."