At the heart of the beautiful campus where I work, is a beautiful 80 year old chapel. Whenever I can steal a few moments from my work, I go there to enjoy the quiet sanctuary. Studying at a Catholic school from K-12 may have started this habit when I was growing up, as the school chapel was a place to find some serene beauty and offer up my prayers even when I was growing up.

Recently, as I was entering the campus chapel, a girl in a pink jacket was leaving it. She was most likely an undergraduate student who lives on campus. We crossed each other at the threshold. As we made passing eye contact, I beamed a smile at her. She half-returned my smile. It was the kind of smile that comes with a lot of effort, the lips quivering in resistance, wanting to be pursed instead, and eyes looking away quickly for fear of brimming over with hovering dew drops that may roll down as tears. A brave smile. The brief moment was over quickly as we carried on our opposite way. 

The brave smile is one I am familiar with, and I suspect others are too. There were moments in my life when I wanted to cry out loud in unbearable pain, but put a smile on instead and carried on with the business of life, just as the girl in the pink jacket was doing.

Wonder what made her feel so wretched: was it being away from home and missing everyone and everything she was familiar with? was it a tough class that she was struggling in? was it a poor grade? was it neglect or unkind word or deed by a friend or a teacher? was there a betrayal or rejection by a boyfriend? was there sickness? or loneliness? or frustration? or news of some tragedy?  

She is probably all better long before now, so now my question for myself is why am I haunted by the energy of that moment? I am glad I offered her a smile and she did her best to respond. It is also good that she and I have a safe place in the chapel to go claim our peaceful moments even in the midst of a crisis.

Imagine a world where it would be okay to stop and ask a perfect stranger if she would like a hug without worrying about whether it would be too intrusive, or if it would precipitate a breakdown, or if having a breakdown is problematic at all. To always be a steady witness that can remain aware that the crisis leads soon enough to the next moment, which brings something completely different. To let it be.
Words of a song come as I write this "Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be, let it be." Another Urdu couplet has come to my rescue at times: Lord, you have gifted me a tongue, and I am so grateful for it, that I have nothing to complain about. (Tuney mujhe ki atta zubaan, mujhe gum sunaaney ka gum kahan). Brave smiles are good for coping too. Scientific claims are that even fake smiles can reduce our stress.