I am staying as a house guest with cousins in India. This morning, I had the chance to mark the death anniversary of my uncle, the patriarch of the family. His daughter, with whom I am staying, woke up early and prepared an elaborate meal of his favorite dishes with the intention to share it with many. At 10 am, the family priest was invited to the home to say a quick prayer of remembrance. He was a simple and humble man who sat on the floor, offered everyone gathered a flower, chanted a few Sanskrit shlokas and then asked us to place the flowers in front of a photograph of my uncle. He was served the first plate of food from the feast. He set aside the first morsel for the birds, and then ate a bit himself. He blessed each of us individually and then took home some food to share with his family.

We made packages to give away to the many who are part of the daily life here - the watchman, the sweeper, the milkman, the vegetable seller, and then made several more packages for others who might be in need for a meal. A large tiffin was packed for the extended family in the same town, who were unable to join us. And then the family gathered sat together to enjoy the feast. Before noon, we had delivered the feast packages to the family and to many strangers, each of whom also got a fresh banana, a packet of biscuits and a token sum of money.

This ritual of remembrance was the first time I learned what my uncle's favorite foods were. As kids, we just took him for granted and never really cared to learn about his tastes, except in implicitly seeing how he lived them. His daughter and I share a strong bond as sisters, despite having led very different lives, with her a housewife in India and me a working woman in the US. This love bond we share is a gift from my uncle because when we were kids under his watch, he treated us as if we were sisters, taking us on outings together and assigning the same chores to us at home. After I moved away, I kept a good corresponding relationship with him for years, as we shared a love of books among other things. Today, on the 8th anniversary of his death, I am glad to know him better and enjoy his favorite food with our extended family.