A Security Blanket For Love
ServiceSpace
--Colleen Choi
2 minute read
Feb 10, 2014

 

This was painted the night before and the day of Raghubhai's accident. It was originally painted the other way around with the drippings falling down. After I got off the phone with our India family and learned of Raghubhai's transition, I glanced over and saw that the painting was showing me a new way of looking at it.  
 
I lived with Raghubhai at the Craftroots office for the 3.5 months (on and off) that I was in Ahmedabad. During that small slice of time, we became like a little family.  I'd wake up early in the morning to see Raghubhai making us chai (even though he doesn't drink caffeine), big bright smile, singing "Jesse Krishna! Good morning Colleen-ben!". We'd all take turns to run out and buy milk and breakfast. So many memories, countless meals, morning meditations and prayers, singing, garba dancing, gujarati language lessons in broken english - all in our little office home. 

We sat our first 10-day Vipassana course together, along with 11 other noble friends.  I remember helping Raghubhai fill out the application.  One of the questions was "Are you disabled?"  I read the question to Raghubhai.  He looked down at himself, looked back up at me, and with the most confused look said "No! I am no disable!"  My heart warmed, and I responded "You're right Raghubhai.  You no disabled!"  Check!

The last question on that application was "Why do you want to take this course?"  Raghubhai's answer: "I want to purify myself even more so that I can serve more people"  He was selfless even with his own spirituality.

To me, Raghubhai is like a love security blanket.  There's a place in me that felt that if Raghu is in this world sharing his light, that the earth will stay on its axis.  That there is still hope and love in the world. What's coming up for me now, as I reflect on Raghubhai's life and that slice in time that I spent with him are questions to myself.  How can I live more fully and authentically like Raghubhai?  How can I serve the world with my expression more deeply?  How can I also be a security blanket?
   
Raghubhai and I didn't speak the same language.  Most of our conversations were through the heart.  There isn't a day that passes that I don't access Raghubhai's love through my own heart.  And for some reason, now that he's transitioned, I can feel his love even more. 

With deep gratitude.

 

 

Posted by Colleen Choi on Feb 10, 2014


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