“True vocation joins self and service.” (Parker Palmer)

“Vocation is the place where deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.” (Frederick Buechner)

On our most recent Forest Call, a story emerged that hit home with many of us. It was in small part about one’s true vocation in life, but in larger part about the journey that leads you there. It was about having the courage to let go and the faith to travel through the dark mystery within our selves.  Leah Pearlman’s voice sparkled through the telephone wires and the listeners could feel her glow from wherever they were sitting in the world. Even as she was in the midst of experiencing the pain of her father’s last stages of cancer, Leah was still there with us as our guest speaker, sharing her light. This is her gift, her “vocation”.



It’s hard to believe that an individual like Leah, the co-founder of the Happiness Institute and the creator of Dharma Comics, has ever experienced periods of darkness. But when you hear her story, and come to understand Leah’s unstoppable curiosity and her commitment to stay true to herself, it just makes sense.

As many know, some years back Leah worked in one of the most coveted social media companies, Facebook. She was collaborating with some of the most creative and intelligent young people in her field. But it was while working at Facebook, completely convinced that she was happy, that an email from her mom dramatically shifted her world.  It was an email about her father's declining health. Frantically racing through a sea of work emails, for a few minutes Leah ignored the small voice that wanted to call her mom. It was in that moment when she realized that something must be seriously off. If she were really happy and in synch with the natural order of things, how could her priorities be so off?

“Something had to be out of alignment if I didn’t feel the spaciousness to turn my full attention and body and heart 180 degrees away from work and face my family and what they were going through.”

Allowing Dharma to Take its Course
The experience jolted Leah into the present moment. She requested a six month leave of absence later that day. She had no idea what she was going to do, but she knew she needed to devote time to her family and figure out who she was outside of her Facebook identity. In those six months, Leah says that she wandered. She took her first 10 day Vipassana meditation course, experienced Burning Man, and spent time traveling alone in Bhutan asking herself questions, many questions. Through those experiences, she gave herself space from what she knew and she started to become incredibly curious about spirituality and the world inside of her. Leah did return to Facebook, but only for a year. Then she left completely, having some idea of what she would do but not really.

“I realized the difference between a great job (which it was), and a great job for me. Realizing that those are two separate things took a lot of internal struggle. I drew a comic during that time of transition about what is scarier, holding on or letting go. I had the fear of holding on…while you’re holding on and looking down there is this terrifying moment. You can see miles and miles below you, you can see the freefall, but until you let go, you don’t know what is going to catch you. Leaving Facebook was a decision to let go ahead of the real knowing.”



Perhaps the letting go is what allowed dharma, the natural order of things, to become realigned in Leah’s life. Her Dharma Comics began to emerge in that time and she vividly described how she uses the comics as medicine for her own healing. The adorable little stick figures are magically drawn as a result of Leah’s inward dialogue when she is struggling through something or intently listening to someone else’s struggles. “A part of me is struggling and another part of me wants to take care of the struggling part, there is a pain and a healing component to a lot of the comics.”

One of the most popular comics is called “Nature Knows.” In a classroom setting, an owl asks the caterpillar and tadpole what they want to be when they grow up. Leah drew that comic when she was experiencing one of the worst days of her life in 2011. She had left Facebook and started Dharma Comics and the Happiness Institute and she was struck with a sudden fear that she had no idea what she was doing.


“I felt so small and embarrassed about my path. I wondered if I was wasting my resources on a silly space in San Francisco that no one was going to come to and whether drawing stick figures was really any kind of way to serve the world. I thought I should be doing something grander and I went back to this question so many times. What should I do? What is my path? And I realized like that Einstein quote that I couldn’t “solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it.” I realize that like the tadpole and caterpillar, people are nature too and that I was going to grow no matter what. So I could spend all my time in that space worrying or I could drop the question and see how I move when the music plays. The tadpole becomes the frog, the caterpillar becomes a butterfly, and I’m going to become whatever I’m going to become and I’m not going to get there by worrying.”

From Darkness to Light: A Space for Discovering Happiness
While describing the Dharma Comics, a stick figure image of Leah emerged, hanging off of a cliff, looking down, not knowing what is to come. How did she take that next small step when she was filled with so much fear? While lately, the answer has been to do what feels the most nurturing and friendliest to her soul, historically Leah has taken giant leaps of faith, big risky steps, and learned a lot in the process.

Co-creating the Happiness Institute was sort of like that. The intention behind it was to create a space where people could come to explore themselves, be inspired, inspire others, and co-create together. “I really believe in the idea that we all have our own wisdom and dharma and when we cultivate what is true for us, we will find our own passion.”

When people enter the Happiness Institute, not everyone knows what their passion or project is and they often come with the intention of serving other people in the space that already know. And through that process of serving others, they discover their own path and inspiration.

What is so special about the Happiness Institute is that it gives everyone the permission to ask that question, “What is my unique path?” Leah pointed out that its mission is not about being happy all the time, because part of the search for your own truth can be lonely, difficult, and dark. In her own path, Leah revealed that sometimes she has drawn her inspiration from a place of darkness. So there is not always a flow of happiness that she tries to keep alive when she is experiencing turmoil.

“When I’m in darkness, I’m in darkness and when I’m in light, I’m in light. Most of my learning comes from the continual transition between the two and this is something that I have resisted a lot in my life. It’s just now, in the past year, that I’ve started to understand the dynamic and embrace the duality.”



“If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?” - Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Embracing the Space in Between
In this transition between darkness and light, Leah shared another deep realization about embracing the space in between. She admitted that after leaving Facebook, she doesn’t think she stayed in that in between space for as long as she would have now, knowing what she knows. While Leah is very curious about the direction of Happiness Institute and Dharma Comics, a challenge that is still alive for her is staying in a soft, unknown space, staying committed to exploring her inner world and trying new experiences that question the identity that she has created for herself.

“One thing I’m learning now is letting go again…I got into this idea that Happiness Institute and Dharma Comics are my identity in the world and I got caught up in it pretty quickly. Right now I’m trying to unknow myself from those identities. I will draw Dharma Comics as long as I’m inspired but if there is a day when I look at my markers and they don’t make my heart sing, I want to put those aside and make space for what is next.”

Jo captured it best when she introduced Leah. Her comics and Happiness Institute are only the tips of the iceberg, and they’re only the material manifestations of Leah’s character. “Leah doesn’t stand solidly in any outlook…she doesn’t accept the world that others have laid out…she explores and tries new experiences with immense courage and unstoppable curiosity in order to learn…she is committed to authenticity and her courage is standing in the difficulty.”

And as Prakash so genuinely pointed out, Leah, you are already a beautiful butterfly, whether you are in external or internal “ninja happiness” mode. Your community is curious to see where you will flutter your wings of light next….but know that your incredible gift of light is what inspires us to be a part of your classroom of life, to keep questioning, and to continue learning.



​To receive even more inspiration from Leah's journey, read a recent Works and Conversations interview with her: http://www.conversations.org/story.php?sid=302