March 26, 2016

Quote of the Week

"Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them." -- Bill Ayers

Accepting Children For Who They Are

"Parenting these days seems to be focused a lot on control instead of connection. Instead of working on and nourishing the relationships with their children, people are focused more on strategies and tips that will help them get their child to act how they want. Parents aim to shape their children into ‘good’ human beings. At first it seems like a reasonable goal. Isn’t it our job to teach our children?

But, what if we looked at things from our children’s point of view? How would it feel to be in a relationship with someone who was always trying to change you? What if we just accepted our children for who they are? Children are all unique and brilliant in their own ways. Let’s stop trying to make them all the same. [...]

What a gift for a child to feel like they are perfect as they are. To feel that they don’t need to ‘perform’ or be constantly trying to do better. How empowering not to be boxed in by labels, be compared to others, or have to live up to someone else’s standards." [read more]

Reading Corner

Title: How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk
By: Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Stage: Pre-school and older

Why? "I read this book when my elder daughter was a baby and revisited it recently when I now have a 5 year-old and 2.5 year-old. The simple, empathetic and practical approach to relating to children in this book is amazing to see in action. As soon as I read the first chapter, I immediately started responding to my daughter's upset or angry statements by acknowledging what she was feeling and 75% of the time, this empathy and understanding immediately cooled down her further responses, and transformed them into practical ideas to resolve her own "problem/challenge." I've been experimenting with the approaches described in subsequent chapters and am really amazed to see how responsive my child is. While none of this information is rocket science, it is not our habitual response in most cases, so for me, this book has been hugely supportive in enabling me to strengthen my own empathy muscles as a parent, while genuinely trying to see things from my children's point of view and accepting their reality." -- Trishna Shah

Be the Change

"When you feel the need to correct your child this week, stop and focus on connecting first!  Get down on their level, comfort them if needed, validate their feelings, and problem solve together."